The Rise of the House Husband?
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Written by Jane Freeman
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It seems the idea of staying at home and spending more time with the
children is becoming a much more attractive idea than slogging away in
an office for many a modern dad.
House husbands are on the increase so watch out mum, the tables are turning!
The latest figures from the Office of National Statistics reveal that there are around 180,000 men in the UK who stay at home to look after the children, and this figure is gradually rising.
“There is no doubt that traditionally things have been weighted in the favour of women, but finally it seems that house husbands are on the increase,” said Loraine Tate, Area Manager of the Hampshire Office of Parentline Plus.
Women now earn much larger salaries than they used to, often more than their partners. This however is not always the reason why dad stays at home. For Steve Bolter from Hampshire he chose to give up work as an electrical engineer just because he wanted to!
Steve had worked hard all his life. He’d earned enough money for a nice house, car and lifestyle and now he just wanted to spend time with his son. In fact the more you think about it the more sensible it sounds. Steve’s wife Mel continued to pursue her career as an accountant and Steve became her househusband.
After three years of this modern day lifestyle we asked Steve how he was finding things “I love it! It has given me the chance to prove that men can be just as parental as women.” Steve is often teasing Mel with lessons on how to change a dirty nappy and hang the washing out properly and he loves to show off in the kitchen.
I think Mel finds her domesticated husband all the more sexy in a pair of yellow rubber gloves doing the washing up whilst slaving away over a nice roast dinner for her.
Mel explains, “It’s so nice to come home from work and smell clean washing in our cosy and tidy house. I have to admit Steve copes much better than many of my female stay-at-home friends!”
Having recently had their second child Rhys, Steve is relishing life with the family’s newest member. “I’m certainly looking forward to the challenge of another boy around the household, though I’m sure he will be a handful just like his brother!”
Of course it is not all as easy as it sounds. There are still times when Steve, like any parent at home with children, finds it lonely and frustrating. But this is more than compensated by the fun he has being the only man at the local playgroup. “Although you do get a frosty look off the odd mother or grandparent I have made lots of friends. I sometimes feel like the agony uncle. They are always asking me for advice. The kids just see me as a big brother. I am often found in the ball pit and bouncy castle and I never have to make the tea!” Steve is often the only male invited to coffee mornings. His humour helps liven up a dull morning “I’m just a big kid really and it’s great fun”.
It has its advantages to have a male around. Many small children spend a considerable part of their day around women, even at nursery, playgroup and primary school. Males are thin on the ground. Having a house husband around provides different opportunities for children to learn and communicate.
For the dads amongst us it is nice to spend time with our families and really get to know our children. Times are definitely changing. And the prospect of staying at home is becoming ever more appealing.
Mel is currently on maternity leave so the family are spending a lot of quality time together. The happy couple plan to enjoy this precious time with Rhys. They know how fast the first few with a baby can go by. Steve is looking forward to adapting to new roles and challenges. He teases Mel ‘now there’s three males to support, you had better keep bringing in the pennies, we will soon need an extra footie kit, set of golf clubs and cricket bat to keep ourselves busy.’
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