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As first-time parents-to-be, my husband and I, like so many others before and after us, suddenly faced the frightening prospect of sleepless nights - not the occasional, one-off due to unforeseen circumstances, but the continuous, nightly ritual of not getting our regular 7-8 hours a night of good, sound sleep. We were worried!
We were also absolutely determined to do everything within our power to ensure our child slept well.
In our quest, we read book after book of recommended bedtime routines, asked endless questions of friends with babies and jotted down pages of notes as we planned our course of action.
The big day finally arrived, surprisingly on time, and we were presented with our beautiful first-born baby son.
What happened next? Well, to cut a long story short, as those of you who are parents already know, babies, being the very individual souls that they are, don't necessarily conform to rigid routines prescribed by other people.
What we did learn to do was adapt.
We did use a routine, we kept all our books and our notes, but our baby was an individual, and therefore his routine should be individual - to him.
We also discovered the secret of sleep cues - moments, items, people - things that you choose that tell your baby that this is time to sleep, that this is bedtime.
Our baby's routine was his first sleep cue, in particular the wind down period in the hour before bed, in which we consistently followed the same pattern every night (except in very exceptional circumstances) and which he learned to associate with the approach of bedtime.
Our baby had the same musical toy as a sleep cue, played every night at bedtime, and played again if he later woke for some reason. He learned to associate this with going to sleep. Three years later he still likes to play his musical toy at bedtime, but this is now accompanied by a bedtime story in acknowledgement of the fact that he is older.
Finally, and probably the most important sleep cue of all, was our baby's comforter toy. Introduced into his cot moments after birth we had religiously followed instructions before my baby's arrival home and kept the chosen comforter in bed with us before he was born so that it could take up the all-important 'comforting mummy/daddy smells'. We never regretted it! My son's comforter toy became a firm sleep friend. It let him know that mummy or daddy was near when we left his room at bedtime; it soothed him to sleep without tears or disruption if he woke in the night, and it comforted him in unfamiliar places. Three years later, he is still very firmly attached to his comforter toy at night, although his need of it during the day has lessened with maturity.
Incidentally, in case you are wondering, we are now lucky enough to be mum and dad to two gorgeous, lively, happy boys aged four and two and a half respectively, and yes, apart from the occasional exception when they are poorly, or have a bad dream, they sleep...well, like babies!
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