Natural Baby Bonding for Everyone
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S ome
new mothers bond with their babies easily. Others find the process much
more difficult. Baby Bonding advocate, Monic Joint, reveals it’s never
too late to start forming a life-long connection with your child.
I have never forgotten speaking to a mum who had a terrible bonding
experience with her first child. Due to complications after delivery,
she was separated from her newborn daughter to have surgery and - 16
years later - still felt she had been unable to complete a connection
with her teenager. It reminded me that while some parents find bonding
with their baby as easy as 1-2-3, it’s not always a natural experience
for others.
Bonding can be interrupted for a range of reasons. Unexpected or
traumatic pregnancy, difficult birth, age of the parents, a crying
colicky baby, and even family financial difficulties can all affect
bonding. Some parents may have experienced neglect or abuse as a child
themselves and worry about their new parental responsibilities. We
should also spare a thought for pregnant women who endure domestic
violence. The charity, Refuge, estimates that more than one third of
violent abuse while women are pregnant either begins or worsens during
pregnancy. If you are one of the many parents who have had trouble
bonding either pre or post birth, or simply want to learn additional
methods of bonding with your child, there are several gentle ways to
form that crucial connection, and every effort we put into bonding is a
positive step.
While it is generally known that bonding with babies releases
feelings of contentedness, the act of bonding has the additional
benefit of releasing a hormone called “Oxytocin” within a mother during
breastfeeding.
The effect of Oxytocin is significant in that it reduces stress,
increases trust, lowers blood pressure and reduces anxiety and pain.
Let’s get started with some steps you can take from today to start
forming that wonderful connection with your child.
How to bond with your baby:
Bonding during Pregnancy:
Mental Bonding: Spend some quiet time every day thinking about your baby while breathing in a relaxed way
Physical Bonding: Massage your abdomen lightly with a plain organic cream or oil
Bonding after the birth of your child:
Mental Bonding: Spend much time looking at your infant and thinking
about the positives of parenthood. Feel proud of each milestone that
you reach together, and remember that you are a more experienced family
each day.
Physical Bonding: Skin to skin contact with your newborn is an
excellent way to bond with your child and breastfeeding soon after the
birth provides many positive benefits to both the new mother and
infant; bathing with your baby can be fun (use a non-slip bath mat for
safety or get your partner to help you)
Keep a journal of “letters” to your children letting them know how they
are developing, what you feel about them and your dreams for them.
Any parent with a sincere desire to bond with their child will find
their own unique ways to do so; following your natural instincts is the
best way to get started. Finally, it’s worth remembering that it’s
never too late to start spending quality time with your child. Your
time is free and all time spent with your children will pay dividends
throughout the cycle of your life - and especially your child’s.
In addition to being a Baby Bonding advocate, mother of two small
children and former nanny, Monic Joint is a qualified baby massage
instructor. She has written an instantly-downloadable e-book about
bonding, massage, baby sign language and positive parenting which can
be found at her website www.koalacomforts.co.uk/koalacarerbook.html.
Monic is also the founder of Koala Comforts-Soothing, Luxurious
Necessities for Parents and Babies and does occasional volunteer work
for the U.K. Birth Trauma Association charity. You can contact her at:
contactus@koalacomforts.co.uk
Further Resources:
Koala Comforts: Soothing, Luxurious Necessities for Parents and Babies www.KoalaComforts.co.uk
The Birth Trauma Association: www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
Refuge Domestic Violence charity: www.refuge.org.uk
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